Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
