i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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