Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
