apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
