Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
