So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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