haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
