Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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