I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
