And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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