Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
