Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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