Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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