So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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