so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Randomize
