so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
