Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
