u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
