I heard we made out
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my sisters under your porch take her home
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
