Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
