i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Four minutes until I can fart!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
