so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
