im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
