At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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