so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
