This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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