Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize