Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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