your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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