yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
