Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If I had your ass I would rule the world
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
