She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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