Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
