I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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