I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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