TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
