I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
