his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
