im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
