I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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