It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
