Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
