those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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