we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
