last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
