Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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