Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
