I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
