he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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