she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
