My first STD was from a foam party
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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