i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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