i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
