I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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