like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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