Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
