So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
